I respect janitors. As a schoolboy they intrigued me, because they had access to the inner chambers of the school and knew secrets (I assumed) no one else knew. When I was right out of high school, I worked for a janitorial service for a while. I was the “trash man.” I had to empty all the trashcans in huge offices. You can learn a heck of a lot about people, based on what they throw away. So when I found out there was a janitor video game, I was a little more excited than most.

Of course, it’s not a realistic janitor simulator—that would probably sell about as well as the trash I used to empty (although that goat simulator took off, so who knows!). It’s a 2D action-platformer in the vein of Super Meat Boy. The goal of the game is to get through each level, cleaning up all the dirt you see, and beating up filthy enemies along the way. You are rated on each level based on how fast you finish and how much you clean up. Do great in levels, and you can earn keys to open up more.

You can play as one of four cleaning people, each armed with their own cleaning device—a regular broom, a push broom, feather dusters or a vacuum cleaner. Two of the characters are basically the same. One is fast but does less damage, and one is slow but does more damage. Time is a huge factor in the game, so I stuck to the main balanced guy. But you’ll wanna give them all a try and swap them out from time to time when levels demand it.

Movement is what this game’s all about. In order to get through levels the fastest, you’ll want to chain your various movements together to make it as smooth and fast as possible. You can run, jump, wall jump, run up walls for a little bit and even run upside down on ceilings temporarily. There are two attacks, light and heavy. Attacking will let you “reset” your jump, so you can string attacks together and get across long distances, if there are enough enemies. There’s also a super attack that hits everyone around you once it’s charged up.

It sounds simple, but the level design makes sure it’s not. You’ll be running, jumping, sliding down hills, flying into the air, hitting multiple enemies, wall running, ceiling running, and doing it all as gracefully as you can to get the best possible time. There’s definitely some level memorization needed to beat previous scores. And this is one of those games that’ll have you thinking, “Just one more time, I can do better…” over and over as you hone your skills to shave off seconds.

Graphically, the game won’t blow you way, but it’s cute and gets the job done. Musically, the game will blow you away. The hypnotic songs lure you in deeper and deeper as you repeat each level over and over. It would be quite maddening, if the songs weren’t so good. The game also features some basic multiplayer games and worldwide leaderboards so you can show your mom that you really are good at cleaning! 

My only complaint is the movement feels a tad clunky. If it were a hair smoother, the game would be a lot more fun. Super Meat Boy is the pinnacle of control perfection. Everything you do in that game feels so natural. And as you go on, it becomes part of your muscle memory. I never quite got that feeling with Dustforce. Still, it's super cheap and a lot of fun, so I’d give it a chance. Especially if you think janitors are cool like I do!

Hint: Don’t get mad! If you do, stop playing the game and sweep the floor in real life. You’ll cool down, and clean your house at the same time.

by Urian Brown